over the last few weeks, i've had a couple of people email me and ask why i haven't been writing more big long emotional/funny/interesting posts about the new arrival.
well, if i'm going to answer honestly, it's because the emotion has kind of worn off. he's here. i'm used to it. plus, he hasn't done anything remotely funny or interesting. ever. unless you call sleeping, crying and lying on a jiminy staring at the lights like he's high funny or interesting.
i mean, yeah, he's fun to look at - but for the time being, at the very least until he can hold his own head up, we're still dealing with life in its most elemental form here. feed it. shelter it. listen to it over the monitor all night as it tries with surprising intensity to squeeze out little baby farts.
bottom line, over the past 5 weeks, i have come to the realization that having a kid is like riding a rollercoaster. it's thrilling and amazing and takes your breath away and sometimes there's vomit involved. it's just that the second time you do it, you already know where the drops are and how to handle the speed - and, unfortunately, that adds at least the tiniest bit of "meh" factor to the whole thing.
and just so you don't think that i'm a total tool, you should know full well that my heart dances every single time he tilts his head and stares into my eyes like he's looking for an answer only i can give him. and i smile like a mental patient on nitrous whenever i hear him sound off with a nice, juicy burp after tapping on his back for so long my wrist starts to click.
and when i look at his beautiful face as he's sleeping...
...goddamn it, would you look at that? all of a sudden i've got tears on my cheeks as i type this.
no joke.
(you little bastard.)
you know what?
on second thought, forget all the grumpy smart ass stuff i said up there.
because at the end of the day, like his brothers, this little boy has done more to make my life worth living by doing absolutely nothing than i could ever express by saying something.
well, if i'm going to answer honestly, it's because the emotion has kind of worn off. he's here. i'm used to it. plus, he hasn't done anything remotely funny or interesting. ever. unless you call sleeping, crying and lying on a jiminy staring at the lights like he's high funny or interesting.
i mean, yeah, he's fun to look at - but for the time being, at the very least until he can hold his own head up, we're still dealing with life in its most elemental form here. feed it. shelter it. listen to it over the monitor all night as it tries with surprising intensity to squeeze out little baby farts.
bottom line, over the past 5 weeks, i have come to the realization that having a kid is like riding a rollercoaster. it's thrilling and amazing and takes your breath away and sometimes there's vomit involved. it's just that the second time you do it, you already know where the drops are and how to handle the speed - and, unfortunately, that adds at least the tiniest bit of "meh" factor to the whole thing.
and just so you don't think that i'm a total tool, you should know full well that my heart dances every single time he tilts his head and stares into my eyes like he's looking for an answer only i can give him. and i smile like a mental patient on nitrous whenever i hear him sound off with a nice, juicy burp after tapping on his back for so long my wrist starts to click.
and when i look at his beautiful face as he's sleeping...
...goddamn it, would you look at that? all of a sudden i've got tears on my cheeks as i type this.
no joke.
(you little bastard.)
you know what?
on second thought, forget all the grumpy smart ass stuff i said up there.
because at the end of the day, like his brothers, this little boy has done more to make my life worth living by doing absolutely nothing than i could ever express by saying something.
4 comments:
When my daughter was that age, I wanted it to be over because all she did was EAT-POOP-SLEEP.
Not fun- I wanted her to react to everything I said, jump around, play hide and seek, etc.
Now that's she's doing those things, I want her to sometimes, EAT-POOP-SLEEP...
He is ridiculously cute.
Now I'm crying too. But I'm not going to call him a Little Bastard. Your post reminds me why I hope to someday have little bastards of my own...
Mazel tov! Geez, I've been offline for a lot longer than I thought. He's gorgeous. Good on ya, mate!
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