A Very Honest Interview

(every answer is genuine)

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tonight's guest is that rare breed of actor who vanishes into each
character he plays, and is reborn sometimes almost unrecognizably in
his next incarnation. welcome, won't you, jack lucas b...

(sits silently grinning)

jackie, what do you say?


thank you.

you are very welcome, jack. we certainly are in for a treat tonight. tonight, we begin with the questionnaire by Bernard Pivot. (applause) what is your favorite word, jack?

playing.

and what is your least favorite word?



hitting.



jack, what turns you on?


air.


and what turns you off?


beer.


what sound or noise do you love?



grandpa saying hello.



what sound or noise do you hate?



monster noises.



what is your favorite curse word?



umm...cause yourself meerkat.



i see. what profession other than your own would you most like to attempt?



work.



what profession would you not like to participate in?



doing pumpkins.



and finally, if heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you
arrive at the pearly gates?



whoosh. (makes plane flying motion with hand)


sir ralph richardson once remarked, "acting is merely the art of keeping a large group of people from coughing." jack lucas b, may you be our lozenge for years and years and years. please, if you will...a voracious actor's studio thank you to mr. jack lucas b.


i get dessert now?